Dating Do’s and Don’ts

The 1949 instructional video “Dating Do’s And Don’ts” is the oldest we’ve seen on this blog thus far. And gee willickers it’s pretty swell! I thought it’d be a nice change from child murders, atomic warfare, and dead kids. As this blog is for my sociological class, I thought we could take a look at the gender roles that are being socialized into children through this instructional video, with the assumption that the roles are natural. Just kidding.

Woody: One couple, that means a date. Not like just going around with a crowd, just me and a girl. Well that’s alright, only…what girl? Who?

Yay! You can define the “word date”! And so we meet Woody, not the cowboy toy from “Toy Story,” just a young teen with a highly unfortunate nickname. No wonder he needs help with dating. And no, I’m not just saying that cause of the unibrow he’s sporting in the top picture. Luckily, we have our pre-second wave feminism narrator to dole out politically incorrect dating advice!

Narrator: How do you choose a date? Whose company would you enjoy? Well one thing you can consider is looks.

A yes, start with the nitty gritty. None of that deep, meaningful “do you like her” crap. We don’t care about girls’ souls or brains here. Let’s get to what really matters: “is she hot?”

Narrator: Woody thought of Janet and how good looking she was. He’d really have to rate to date someone like her. Yes he’d enjoy that, except, well it’s too bad Janet’s always acted to superior and forward. She’d make a fella feel awkward and inferior. Well perhaps someone who doesn’t feel superior.

Oh no, we can’t have a girl who thinks that she’s better than any guys! Castrator! Only men are allowed to be superior! Women are supposed to be demure, damnitt! And “forward”? “Forward”!!!! What is she, one of those “easy” girls that mother warned me about? I bet she even speaks without being spoken to first!

Narrator: What about Anne? She knows how to have a good time. And how to make the fella with her relax and have fun to. Yea, that’s what a boy likes, he wants to know he’s appreciated, Anne would be fun on a date.

From the looks of the screen cap above Anne definitely knows how to have a good time and how to make a fella “relax.” She’d be fun indeed. That’s exactly what the boys like, being appreciated. Granted Woody hasn’t done anything to be appreciated for, but by God he shall be appreciated by his woman!

How do you ask for a date? Well, Woody will show us how to and how not to do it.

Woody: Hi Anne, whatcha doin’ Saturday night?
Anne: Well I…I guess I’m busy
Woody: Oh yea, well any chance of givin’ him the push off for me?
Anne: Well of all the nerve!

But I thought women liked me who were forward! Well, Woody will have to play sensitive to get what he wants.

Woody: Anne? This is Woody, well I have a ticket for the carnival Saturday, would you like to go?
Anne: Why yes Woody, I’ll have to talk to my folks about it, but I think I can go, that’ll be fun! (after hanging up, looking longingly in the distance) A date with Woody! Saturday!

See, if you pretend like she has a choice, she suddenly thinks of you with longing eyes! Anyone else vomit when Anne’s first words were “I’ll have to talk to my folks about it,”? Cause I did. I can’t handle the sickly saccharine 1949speak. By the way, Anne’s face pictured above is her happy-reaction-face. Yeah.

“Annoying Kid Sister with Pig-Tails” aka Judy: What’ll you do? Go to some fancy place for dinner?
Anne: No silly, were going to the carnival, and then he’ll bring me home.
Judy: Oh that doesn’t sound fun.

I’m with Annoying Kid Sister with Pig-Tails on this one.

Anne:…I think the important thing about a date is to have a good time, and you don’t need to spend a lot of money to do that…and you leave your boyfriend enough money so he’ll ask you again.

A yes, girl-no-make-money, girl-too-busy-making-babies-and-clean-house. Man- provider. Many-pay-all. Man-have-control-of-man’s’-dominion.

Judy: My! you’ll be out late!
Anne: Oh not particularly late, mom and dad and I have an agreement about what time to come in!

Vomit. Seriously.

So Anne and Woody have their date. Woody never achieves his namesake. Poor Woody. As he drops Anne off at her house (promptly on time) we see some possible ways for him to say goodnight.

Apparently attacking the girl is the wrong way to say goodnight, who knew? Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post. Here’s the link:


About doublemajorram

I'm an English and Sociology Major in NYC who plans to go to into law. If you are looking for a source to fault my gallows humor, read the Series of Unfortunate Events or watch any Tim Burton movie. Or go to the London Dungeon. Or criticize out my parents for making such things available to me at an impressionable age. Seriously, I'll give you their addresses. I promise to add something more interesting later.
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3 Responses to Dating Do’s and Don’ts

  1. hazy2315 says:

    That whole thing was type interesting but I’m not gonna lie…after you said “gee willickers” I could not concentrate on anything else lol

  2. Mary! says:

    Haha I would have to agree with that one … but this post is beyond entertaining the whole “speaking before being spoken to?… really? is that how is was back then? my god.

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